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Curling: Day Two

New Zealand v. No Taxation Without Representation
Another day, another vicious beatdown by the surging Americans. It was, as it were, a Valentine's Day Massacre, except without the messy residue of mass homicide.

A day after the USA was dealt a last-rock lost at the hands of Finland, the Americans stormed the curling barn, blitzing the Kiwis 10-4 in only eight ends. It marked the second time in as many days that the USA forced its opponent to concede before the match reached its ultimate tenth end.

The Kiwis jumped out to a quick 2-0 lead after the first end, but failed to put another marker on the board until the seventh end. Through that drought, New Zealand managed to go scoreless in four ends in which the team had the hammer. In essence, New Zealand had its dick near a vagina, but instead of finding synergy between the two, simply chose to go into the corner by itself and beatoff.

The United States, on the other hand, went off like a sailor on shore leave and managed to generate seven points during the Kiwi drought, further proving the big play ability for Pete Fenson's squad.

The star of the match for the United States was John Shuster, who took 15 draws and was successful on 90% of them. Although he registered no take-outs, he was able to trigger the United States' scoring blitz when New Zealand was forced to play defense during the heart of the contest. Honorable mention kudos go to Shawn Rojeski, who tallied 90% on his draws and a solid 91% mark in the takeout category. In fact, Rojeski led the American effort in the take-out category with 11 on the day.

The Americans' next game is today against host Italy (7 PM Turin(o) time), which should result in another epic ass-whooping. Throw in Wednesday's game against the winless Germans, and Fenson's team (2-1) probably needs to steal just one or two more victories in its other four games to reach the medal round.

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