There Used To Be Clocks Here

Freak. Out.

You see that young man on the right side of this essay? Well, his name is Mike Paulus.

He is the starting quarterback at Christian Brothers Academy in Syracuse, NY.

He is generally considered one of the top quarterback prospects in the Class of 2007.

He has scholarship offers from over 25 academic institutions.

And for whatever reason, he believes that Syracuse University is one of the places he should seriously consider plying his trade.

CBA quarterback Mike Paulus says tonight:

"I have it down to 5! YES after all this time I have actually narrowed it!!"

From more than 25 scholarship offers, Mike has pared it down to a final five:

Alabama, North Carolina, Southern Cal, Syracuse, Tennessee

They're listed here in alphabetical order and are not ranked, so don't read anything into the post positions.
With these statements permanently etched into the internet, I am going to bed. For if I should stay awake any longer, I am convinced that the Earth will collapse upon itself due to the horrific irony.

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