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Carney For Heisman!

This punt went 132 yards.
The ball quit football after the strike.

The Heisman Trophy is an annual award given to the nation's most outstanding player. Originally conceived by members of Manhattan's Downtown Athletic Club, the award was first presented at the conclusion of the 1935 college football season. Jay Berwanger, described as a "triple-threat cyclone in Chicago's backfield," was the first recipient of the honor.

Brendan Carney, redshirt senior punter for Syracuse University, looks to become the 72nd member of this hallowed fraternity in 2006.

2006 Statistics
The 2006 Orange football season should prove to be Carney's finest on the gridiron. With a slate of games tailored made for incredible punting performances, Carney is poised to elevate his status from bona fide superstar to blasphemous demigod.

Next stop: Yale Club!

Brendan Carney: 2006 Punting Statistics
Wake Forest834443.0*58
Miami (Ohio)520340.650
West Virginia727539.3***45
South Florida----

*: Carney launched a 12-yard punt due to a poor snap from center Ian Hammond. Had that punt not been included in Carney's statistics, he would have averaged 47.4 yards per attempt.

**: Due to incomprehensible field position, Carney needed to take some distance of his punts. As a result, his average was somewhat low. However, three of his kicks landed inside the 20 and one inside the five. Still very, very impressive.

***: It has been announced the Carney is suffering from an Achilles injury. Thus, his numbers have becoming fairly pedestrian, at least by normal Carney standards.

****: It was windy. Really windy.

Career Statistics
Oftentimes cumulative statistics can be deceiving. Brendan Carney's career numbers, however, appear to be the exception to such concern. The numbers are gaudy, unmatched, and more impressive than a fat kid dominating a smell contest.

Brendan Carney: Career Punting Statistics

*: Carney redshirted in 2002.

Career Bests
Warning: Staring directly at Brendan Carney's career statistics may impregnate chaste women.

Brendan Carney: Career Bests
PuntsNumber12 (Virginia Tech - 2003)
Longest71 (Florida State - 2005)
Yards481 (West Virginia - 2005)
Average52.0 (Rutgers - 2004)

5 Responses to “Carney For Heisman!”

  1. # Anonymous Rob

    Boy do you have a hard on for Carney.....  

  2. # Anonymous Matt

    If I had the anatomical parts, I'd seriously considered fathering his child.

    Which brings me to another aspect of my woeful allegience to Syracuse punters. Mike Shafer, former 1999-2002 man-crush, has his own website. I like to call it The Bible.  

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