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The Official Hoya Hater Certification Test

Do you hate this little fellow?
There is no question that myself, as well as my blogging cohort Matt Glaude of Hoya Suxa are certified Hoya Haters. But you are probably saying to yourself “I think I’m a Hoya Hater”. Well, now you too can be certified as a true blue orange Hoya hater. If you pass this certification test that is.

Instructions:
Pick the best answer or the answer that most fits you, then score accordingly.

Quiz
Question 1:
When you hear the word Georgetown you immediately think:
1. F#*kers!
2. I hope they lost today.
3. Did they lose today?
4. What’s Georgetown?

Question 2:
Beating Georgetown gives you the feeling of:
1. Cotton candy, sunshine, and rainbows.
2. Warm laundry.
3. An orgasm.
4. Nausea.

Question 3:
True or False: You think “[Georgetown] is the very dirtiest hole I ever saw for a place of any trade, or respectability of inhabitants.”

Question 4:
When you see a bulldog, you think:
1. What an ugly mutt.
2. How cute!
3. Get that thing away from me.
4. Can someone kick that?

Question 5:
In your closet, the majority of your t-shirts are:
1. Maroon.
2. Grey.
3. Navy.
4. Orange.

Question 6:
When you think of a typical Georgetown student, you think:
1. Gosh he’s quite white.
2. I wonder how big his boat is?
3. He doesn’t look like a Kennedy.
4. What a douche.

Question 7:
You think a typical activity of an average Georgetown student is:
1. Yachting.
2. Poking a sleeping homeless man.
3. Wearing dress shirts that are colored with white collars.
4. Shopping for cars with “daddy’s money”.

Question 8:
You thought about applying to Georgetown, but then you realized:
1. I actually like myself.
2. I’m not nearly snooty… snotty…snooty enough.
3. I don’t got the skoolin’ for that.
4. I’d prefer to get a degree from an institution of actual higher learning.

Question 9:
If someone with a Georgetown sweatshirt came to your place you would:
1. Ask them politely to take it off.
2. Make them stand outside.
3. Rip it off of them.
4. Douse them in lighter fluid and ignite said person.

Question 10:
True or False: You never speak the name Thompson.

Question 11:
True or False: You think Georgetown running a “back door cut” means JTIII is secretly gay.

Question 12:
True or False: You feel bitter anytime you hear anything “is now closed”.

Question 13:
True or False: Anytime someone asks for the time, and it is announced, you say “… and Georgetown still sucks”.

Question 14:
True or False: Your mother is a Hoya.

Question 15:
If you ever saw John Thompson on the street you would:
1. Make a snide comment to him.
2. Give him the stink eye.
3. Attempt to pee on him.
4. Run up to him and shove that old man down.

Now that you’re done tally your score accordingly.

Answer Key
Question 1:
1. 4 points
2. 2 points
3. 1 point
4. -3 points

Question 2:
1. 4 points
2. 1 point
3. ½ a point, and get some help
4. -5 points, and kiss your girlfriend for me

Question 3:
True is 5 points, False is -5 points. Get a clue.

Question 4:
1. 4 points
2. 0 points
3. 2 points
4. 0 points. We here at Orange::44 do not condone animal abuse. But you have the right idea.

Question 5:
1. 0 points. You went to Colgate didn’t you?
2. 0 points
3. 0 points. This was a trick.
4. 4 points

Question 6:
1. 2 points
2. 1 point
3. 2 points
4. 4 points

Question 7:
1. 1 point
2. 2 points
3. 4 points
4. 3 points

Question 8:
1. 2 points
2. 2 points
3. -2 points. Be sure to download an application to the University of Connecticut at Storrs.
4. 4 points

Question 9:
1. 2 points
2. 4 points
3. 2 points
4. -4 points. Orange::44 also does not endorse murder.

Question 10:
True is 5 points, False is 0 points.

Question 11:
True is 5 points, False is 0 points.

Question 12:
True is 5 points, False is 0 points.

Question 13:
True is 5 points and you were in the Sour Sitrus Society, False is 0 points.

Question 14:
True is -20 points, False is 5 points.

Question 15:
1. 2 points
2. 1 point
3. 4 points
4. 3 points

If your point total is 52 or higher congratulations! You are a certified Hoya Hater. Make yourself a certificate and e-mail me for my address. I’ll be happy to sign it and mail it back to you. If you got 51 points or less, sadly you either went to Georgetown, know someone that went to Georgetown and are alright with it, or you just are not enough of a hater. Or your Mother is a Hoya, which is probably the most unfortunate bit of news. If you like, also leave your name and score in the comments, while slandering the Hoyas. It will make you feel good. I’ll be back tomorrow with my preview for the Georgetown game, and some reporting directly from Syracuse, New York in preparation for the Orange Out and the game against Georgetown.

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6 Responses to “The Official Hoya Hater Certification Test”

  1. # Anonymous Anonymous

    I got 32.5 points, and apparently I need to get some help.

    (would have been 37.5 but my roommate's name is Thompson... Plus, you didn't give us any points for #12. Dick... sorry, sorry. Same team.)

    What should I do?  

  2. # Blogger Brian Harrison

    #12 is fixed and you can score appropriately. Sadly you probably still fall short. That means you need to go read up on your Syraucse/Georgetown history, and just start hating more things indiscriminately.  

  3. # Anonymous Nova Fan '06

    Long time reader, first time writer....

    I grew up in syracuse before defecting and attending Villanova, but as I explained to everyone at the time, hey at least it wasn't Georgetown.

    Anyway, I've obviously still got a soft spot for the Orange and this blog is an awesome way to follow the team, so keep up the good work. That and my job is really boring these days.

    Just wanted to post and let you all know that Villanova fans hate G-town too, it's the most anticipated game of the year for us along with SU (great rivalry developing last few years) and St. Joe's.

    I scored a 44 on your quiz and enjoyed every second of it. Good luck in the game tomorrow and kick those preppies out of the Dome!  

  4. # Blogger Amanda

    This is fabulous!  

  5. # Blogger dkelz1888

    53 1/2

    I lost points though because beating GTown is orgasmic to me, I would kick the damn dog and apparently it's wrong to cover a GTown fan in lighter fluid and set him ablaze.

    I condone animal violence, as long as said animal is a hoya (whatever that is).  

  6. # Blogger Brian Harrison

    'Nova Fan 06,
    Thanks for reading. You're right, it is a pretty fun rivalry developing between Syracuse and Villanova the last few years. Hopefully we can deliver a win for you against the Hoyas.

    dkelz1888,
    Yeah, no one knows the the hell a Hoya is.  

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