There Used To Be Clocks Here

Excerpts from the FanHouse



Sitrus nerds agree: Matt Glaude is adorable.
(Matt Glaude not pictured. Thankfully.)
Back from my Cablevision-imposed internet hiatus, I published a couple pieces of material over at the Syracuse FanHouse that probably deserve a quick perusal:

Syracuse Offense Remains Mediocre
In 2005, Perry Patterson and his Orange offensive cohorts redefined offensive inefficiency. Generating a measly 127.917 points of Total Offensive Benefit, the Syracuse offense effectively created the circumstances for an historic 1-10 campaign.

Following the dismissal of former offensive coordinator Brian Pariani, Brian White -- late of the University of Wisconsin -- was to install a trimmed-down version of the West Coast Offense. Designed for comprehension, the attack was to feature a combination power running attack and receiving patterns emphasizing both short slants and outs along with field-stretching "Go" routes. . . .
Orange Defense Regresses to BIG EAST Cellar

Over Syracuse's last three games, the Orange defensive unit has yielded an average of 495.67 yards per game. In the midst of this stretch of pathetic defensive incompetence stands West Virginia's incredible 457-yard rushing effort against the Saltine Warriors.

Unsurprisingly, Orange Nation is becoming progressively dissatisfied with Syracuse head coach Greg Robinson's strategy, preparation, and in-game coaching. . . .
Suspend Syracuse Captain Perry Patterson

Attention Perry Patterson: Your captaincy is a sham.

In what can only be described as pathetic, Perry Patterson – quarterback and captain of the Syracuse Orange – displayed his affection for the West Virginia faithful Saturday by giving them the "One-fingered Salute."

In a contrived effort to atone for his gesture, Patterson provided the media with a pathetic exhibition of tired rhetoric . . . .

5 Responses to “Excerpts from the FanHouse”

  1. # Blogger Brian Harrison

    Now that is a blast from the past, with a colorful cast of characters circa 2003?  

  2. # Blogger Hoya Suxa

    I have no idea. I just found the picture on the internet.  

  3. # Anonymous Anonymous

    It looks like someone just ran over Dave's cat.  

  4. # Anonymous Anonymous

    Good thing Upcraft's tuba is covering the ketchup and mustard spilled from the 30 MSG footlongs he devoured. Also, tag-along Blothenberger gets his 5 minutes of fame...  

  5. # Anonymous Anonymous

    Someone did run over my cat. It was those dirty rat bastards from UCONN.  

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