There Used To Be Clocks Here

UMass, Penn State Players Love Masturbating

Ladies, if you see this guy reading a book get away.
Sometimes stories just write themselves. When I see “public”, “masturbation”, and “Penn State” I go on high alert. If there is one thing I enjoy doing it is publicly chronicling the law breaking of athletes of the schools that Syracuse plays. When two happen on the same day, it is amazing.

On April 2nd, the news broke via The Daily Collegian, Penn State’s student newspaper, and also on With Leather (awesome picture), that told of a Penn State basketball player caught masturbating in the library on campus. Stanley Pringle, the team’s point guard, apparently approched the victim from behind near the stacks, attempted to talk to her, and just pulled it out and went to town. He was charged with public lewdness and disorderly conduct, or what we call a “discon” in the business. A spokesman for the school says that his status with the team has not changed. Interestingly enough, someone matching his discription that has not been caught, apparently did the same thing in the starewell of a dorm. Interesting.

Next, it was reported in The Daily Collegian, and on With Leather (again another great picture), that University of Massachusetts football player Sinclair Ridenhour was reportedly masturbating in his automobile on the campus of nearby Smith College while staring at a female jogger (is the J silent?). He was reported by said jogger after she approached the car because she thought he needed assistance when he exposed ‘Lil Ridenhour to her. What hour is it? Ridenhour! He is also facing charges from an incident earlier in the day where he grabbed a girl’s ass on the quad. This guy is the total package ladies. Smith College is in Northampton, Massachusetts, and so Northampton police are pressing charges, along with UMass and Smith College Police intended to file more charges soon. I am also disturbed that this happened only 30 minutes from my place of residence.

Moral of the story kids and athletes out there, please keep your junk in your drawers. Unless of course a lady, or a confused young man, wants to see it behind closed doors. Then all bets are off. The long arm of the law does not reach behind your bedroom door… usually. I think Syracuse will be hard pressed to find a team to play that does not have a player with some sort of charge on his jacket. You have to keep it clean kids. Stop. Breaking. The. Law.
(Hat Tip to Nunes/Magician for the linkable)

Labels:

1 Responses to “UMass, Penn State Players Love Masturbating”

  1. # Blogger John Brennan

    Oh Brian, you couldn't have found a picture of him palming the ball?



    I'm sorry, that was too easy!  

Post a Comment

Search

Text-Based Diarrehea