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Chris Thorner: All-World Defensive Tackle

Did you know that the United States fields a national football team?

Well, the Stars and Stripes does, and right now our charges are storming through Japan, exporting a purely American brand of pain to five other countries.

Germany lost this game 33-7.
I scored two touchdowns on 187 yards rushing.

Superficially, this fact only tangentially pertains to Syracuse University. As a proud American football playing institution, the Orange must vicariously take a hint of pride in the U.S.'s utter domination of its competition.

Syracuse, however, has much closer relationship to the 2007 World Championship of American Football. For you see, Chris Thorner, late of an abysmal 15 tackle season, is on the squad.

Yup, Chris Thorner is an athlete performing on the international stage. In a related story, Hell is expecting to top both Buffalo and Syracuse in the Golden Snowball contest this year.


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