There Used To Be Clocks Here

I Hate You This Much

Unequivocally detestable.
Brian started the discussion and I’m going to carry it forward.

What appears below are my top five rivalries as a Syracuse fan. This does not mean that I particularly dislike the fanbase – with the notable exception of Connecticut – or the university itself – with the notable exception of Connecticut – or have a general disrespect for the basketball program – um, yeah, you get the picture – I’d just like to see Syracuse smack around these teams.

1. Georgetown University
The phrases are campy and tired, yet they still carry an air of awesomeness:

• “Destroya the Hoya!”
• “Your mother was a Hoya!”
• “Everyone hates to Hoyas! Even the Hoyas hate the Hoyas!”
• “. . . And Georgetown still sucks!”

Unfortunately, I never had the honor of watching Georgetown play in the Dome with their former hulk of a coach John Thompson. The fall that I enrolled at Syracuse Thompson stepped down from his post atop the Hoya Dynasty, allowing longtime assistant coach Craig Eshrick to run the program straight into the Big East cellar.

This, however, did not diminish my hatred for Georgetown. Seemingly always finding a way to be the thorn in Syracuse’s side (anyone remember the 2000 Big East Tournament?), Georgetown, even in times of pity, still stood as the team Syracuse must beat on a year-in and year-out basis.

With John Thompson III now leading the Hoyas into a new era of thuggery and, connectedly, casting a roster of players whose names escape even the strongest linguist, the Hoyas once again become the most important target on Syracuse’s schedule.

The Orange and Hoyas built this conference. And this year, much like last, they will square off in the conference’s most meaningful game.

2. University of Connecticut
This school is pitiful on so many levels it makes me chuckle.

First, of course, is the fact that head basketball coach Jim Calhoun is a blowhard that seemingly finds new ways to put a series of thugs and criminals on his roster. As a consequence, I flipped the phrase Calhoun’s “Connnvicts” – a play on words that has found commonplace in internet/message board vernacular. It fits perfectly with the program Calhoun has assembled and is the primary impetus for my disdain.

The real reason I dislike Connecticut, however, has nothing to do with the university’s basketball team. My dislike stems rather from my family and upbringing. I grew up in Connecticut and never particularly enjoyed the university or the basketball team. The university itself is a dumpy pile of puss that touts itself as “New England’s Number One Public University.”

A feat, honestly, that is matched only by being the Skinny Girl at the Obesity Festival.

Then, of course, is the fact that my brother attended the university and is now a diehard Husky fan. Basketball season becomes an awkward time with him cheering forward a clan of classless hacks while I, admirably, silently accept Syracuse’s fate as a frustrating basketball squad destined to ruin my March.

In the end, nothing appealing pops out to me as reason to enjoy Connecticut. While the Huskies have enjoyed much fortune the last few years, the fact that it has been accomplished with so many ethical question marks makes hating Connecticut quite easy.

3. University of Pittsburgh
If I were to count on my hands the number of big games Syracuse and Pittsburgh have played the last five years, I’d be pulling off my socks by now.

Probably the epitome of my Pittsburgh dislike came in the 2001 Big East Tournament. Stuck in a tight battle with the Panthers, Preston Shumpert attempted to retrieve a loss ball and was poked in the eye. He received a corneal abrasion.

Thanks, Isaac Hawkins.

Shumpert, of course, was never the same. Syracuse lost that game against Pittsburgh.

And, worst of all, Syracuse was destined for the NIT in 2002 – my senior fucking year – because Shumpert could never regain his form.

Thus, the rule is clear: when my life is ruined because another’s life is ruined (Hello, Euro basketball!), your team moves quickly up my list of teams to dislike.

4/5. St. John’s University / Villanova University
To me, both teams are practically interchangeable. Old Big East foes who used to employ demonstrative and lovably hateable head coach.

Other than that, they’re just teams I’d like to see Syracuse beat more times than not.

5 Responses to “I Hate You This Much”

  1. # Anonymous Anonymous

    Jeff Green
    Roy Hibbert
    Tyler Crawford
    Jonathan Wallace
    Marc Egerson
    Jesse Sapp
    Tay Spann
    Josh Thornton
    Vernon Macklin
    Dajuan Summers
    Jeremiah Rivers
    Patrick Ewing, Jr.

    Those are the names of the twelve recruits who have matriculated to Georgetown since JT3 took over.

    Do you always have this much trouble announcing uncomplicated names?

    And Devendorf has more thug in his nasty/ridiculous facial hair than these Hoyas have as a collective. I am less smart for having read your blog.  

  2. # Blogger Hoya Suxa

    "I am less smart for having read your blog."

    Excellent! My mission in life is complete.

    Now, who wants to sex Mutombo?

    For the record, yellow is my favorite color of journalism.  

  3. # Blogger Brian Harrison

    To Matt's defense, Roy Hibbert may be legally retarted.

    Also, posting anonymous comments = you read our blog. We win.  

  4. # Blogger MariusJanulisForThree

    Hey guys, I took a stab at this as well, but from a different perspective...  

  5. # Blogger OrangeRay

    I can say that I did have the luxury of attending several of the Georgetown / Syracuse games with Big John on the sidelines, in the early and late 80's.

    The games were always hard played, full of emotion, and the crowds for those games were always 30,000+.

    In high school in the early 80s, I recall my teachers never gave homework on the day of the SU / Georgetown game... usually on Monday night back then... because they knew everyone was going to be busy that night.

    A buddy and I went to the game at the Dome when Owens was a freshman. We had seats behind the hoop in the student section. All the students on the floor seets stood for the whole game. That's the game where Owens was fouled at mid-court, with SU down by two as time expired. Billy calmly drained both free throws (unbelievable as it may be... Syracuse players do occasionally make free throws!).

    SU would win it in OT. Neither my buddy or I could talk after the game... our voices were so hoarse.

    Just one of many great SU / Hoya moments.  

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