Is there anything better than liveblogging a 'Cuse-Hopkins lacrosse game?

Yes. Lots of things. Including, and most notably, not liveblogging a 'Cuse-Hopkins lacrosse game. But I'm going to do it anyway.

1:28 PM: 3-1 Hopkins

• Blue Jays are playing some super fierce defense right now. I don't know what Pietramala did to light the fire under the team's rear end, but Hopkins is playing very tight right now.
• John Carrozza took a nasty shot at mid-field on a dirty Hopkins hit. He is currently receiving medical attention on the Syracuse sideline. How the referee did not call a penalty is ridiculous; Miller line up the shot from 10 feet away. That is unacceptable.

1:33 PM: 5-1 Hopkins

• Goal - Kevin Huntley. Capitalizes on another Syracuse mental error on the clear. Panarelli made a nice strip on the defensive end for the Orange, yet could not create an offensive posssession for Syracuse.
• I really, really hate Hopkins. If someone would firebomb that campus, I would be very appreciative.
• 4:21 to go.
• Hopkins has 5 goals on 8 shots. That's efficiency, and a shitty, shitty defensive effort from Syracuse.

1:34 PM: 6-1 Hopkins

• Goal - Paul Rabil.
• Syracuse sucks salty balls. This team needs Gerry McNamara. Or a Powell.

1:38 PM: 7-1 Hopkins

• Goal - Huntley. (7 goals on 10 shots)
• Hopkins capitalizes on an unsettled situation in the Syracuse defensive effort. Coluccini has looked absolutely abysmal in the net today, but he isn't get much help from the close defense today.
• Before the Huntley goal, Syracuse put together a weak offensive possession from the Orange. Poor dodging from the second midfield line of Nims, Babbles, and Murphy. Mike Leveille needs more touches.
• Syracuse on the EMO - 1 minute on the man-advantage. 32 seconds remaining in the first quarter. (Syracuse only 3-15 on the EMO this year).

1:42 PM: Same Score - Start of 2nd Quarter

• This might be the most pitiful Syracuse effort so far this year. Getting down 6 early against a Hopkins team that has emphasized possessions this year might be the Orange's ultimate downfall, no matter if the Orange defense actually wakes up.
• Hopkins is still dominating the face-off "x" and things won't get better until Carrozza can get better.
• EMO over.

1:47 PM: 7-1 Hopkins

• Jesse Swartzmann looks unstoppable in the Hopkins net today. Of course, the Orange offense is making him look pretty solid considering they haven't really had a really good shot in about 20 minutes.
• Hopkins has just packed it in here on the defensive end. Somebody (Crockett? Bucktooth?) needs to get aggressive on the offensive end and create a nice dodge to open things up.
• I've heard a lot of bush-league radio broadcasts in my day (nothing may top the Hobart broadcast from last season when the color guy said "What the fuck is going on?" when students started throwing trout on the field) but this Hopkins broadcast is brutal. I just sat through a 3:00 minute stretch of silence from the broadcasters, stuck only to guess what the hell is going on by gauging the groans from the fans.
• Carrozza officially not coming back today. Might have a concussion. Looks like Panarelli and Kenney will be taking draws for the rest of the day. As it turns out, Danny Brennan being academically ineligible this semester has really hurt the Orange.

1:53 PM: 7-1 Hopkins

• Hopkins has hit about five pipes today. Coluccini is not seeing the pill well today. If I was playing on this SU close defense today, I would make it my job to clean somebody out. Just tag somebody and take the penalty; anything to wake up the defense and intimiate the Blue Jays. Playing like a bunch of pussies out there right now. Slides are slow, clearing is still somewhat sloppy.

1:55 PM: 8-1 Hopkins

• Goal - Christopher.
• This team sucks, David!
• Hopkins has eight goals on one assist. That may be the most telling stat of the day - Syracuse is just getting beaten by individual talent rather than the Blue Jays as a team. I thought I'd never see the day when Syracuse is wholly outmanned by its opponent. Pathetic.

1:58 PM: 8-2 Hopkins

• Goal - Dan Hardy (Finally!)
• Good to see a #22 put a tally over Schwatzmann's left shoulder. A really nice shot.
• Syracuse on the EMO (3-16 on the season). 30 seconds. Huge possession, obviously.

2:03 PM: 8-3 Hopkins

• Goal - Brett Bucktooth on the EMO.
• Beautiful shot. Low to high.
• Live on-scene report from Dave Pearson -- when asked how things were down in Homewood, Dave responding with the following: "the bathrooms are really warm." Thanks, Dave. That's why you're the best in the business -- you can't get this kind of signficiant analysis on Donna Ditota's blog.
• Big defensive possession upcoming for the Orange. Hopkins time-out to find a way to make Coluccini look stupid.

2:10 PM: 8-3 Hopkins - Intermission

• Syracuse rolled into a zone defense with about 2:00 left in the half following the Hopkins time-out, indicating that Roy Simmons III is actually awake. It only took 30 minutes of terrible defense and Hopkins offensive might to draw the Orange out of a man defense.
• Second half necessitates some huge overhauls. Even though the Orange is hurting for some offensive possessions, I think staying in the zone defense is worthwhile, even if it means that the team will have fewer opportunities to create turnovers. The other major area of focus is going to be the face-off "x," but I'm not sure there is much SU can do from a strategy standpoint to offset Hopkins' advantage there.
• Dave Pietramala is the Ed Orgeron of college lacrosse. He just spoke for about 20 seconds before the half to some two-bit sideline reporter and I have no idea what the hell he said. If I had my Dumbass to English dictionary, things may have been different.

2:20 PM: Start of 2nd Half

• I'm an idiot; I forgot all about Jon Jerome to take draws. He actually won the second half opening face-off. So good for him, not being mentioned on this blog worked in his favor. Now he's fucked.
• Keys for Second Half: Not sucking ass on defense; lots and lots and lots of shots on Schwartzmann.
• Colcuccini has apparently ditched the sweatpants for a pair of shorts. Obvisously, it was his pantswear that ruined his goaltending effort in the first half. Not the fact that he was abysmal in the cage.

2:25 PM: 9-3 Hopkins

• Goal - Jake Byrne.
• Colcuccini's shorts wiffed on the save. That's a shame.
• Hopkins agains capitalizes on a failed Syracuse clear. Sloppiness is going to be the death of this team.

2:28 PM: 10-3 Hopkins

• Goal - Some guy. At this point, there aren't very many Hopkins players that haven't scored yet.
• Hopkins broadcaster says that the Syracuse jersey looks like the General Lee, once again emphasizing that despite being a leader in the field of medicine, Johns Hopkins can find no cure for being a dumbass.

2:35 PM: 10-4 Hopkins

• Goal - Mike Leveille. Assist to Joe Yevoli.
• Hopkins is turning up the pressure by just carving up the Syracuse defense. The Blue Jays' midfield lines look like the old Princeton midfielders -- pacing play, dodging artfully, distributing well, and generally staying out of trouble. Syracuse's midfield lines, conversely, look like a bunch of kids who sniff too much paint thinner.

2:40 PM: 10-5 Hopkins

• Goal - Mike Leveille (3rd of the day)
• Leveille starting to get open in the heart of the Hopkins attack. Syracuse just ran a nice pick play with Nims and Leveille to get Leveille the tally. Hopefully more of this will continue. It probably won't, but it would still be nice.
• I am officially convinced that every pep-band in the world is given the same song book. How many times to I have to listen to some crappy, overplayed Bosstones song before somebody stands up and writes a new pep-band tune?

2:41 PM: 10-6 Hopkins

• Goal - Bucktooth (EMO)
• Three straight goals for the Orange; it's a bona fide run for Syracuse. Jesse Schwartzmann looks downright mortal at this point while Coluccini, somehow, looks functional in the Syracuse cage. This may be one of those "tipping points."

2:44 PM: 10-7 Hopkins

• Goal - Joe Yevoli
• Four goals in four minutes for the Orange. Coluccini's shorts should be bronzed if Syracuse continues to play like this.

2:48 PM: 11-7 Hopkins

• Goal - Kevin Huntley
• Coluccini has a brain fart and gives Hopkins and easy open-net goal. Coluccini tried to clear on his own from the Syracuse end, had the ball checked out of his crosse, and could not retreat in time to stop the Huntley shot. I am fairly certain that if he was wearing sweat pants he would not have created the turnover.
• The Orange just got jobbed on the ensuing face-off. Jerome took a shove on the face-off, recovers, then commits a slash to give Hopkins a 1:00 unreleasable penalty. This may be the "tipping point." Or not. How the hell am I supposed to know?

2:52 PM: 11-7 Hopkins

• Syracuse miraculously survives the Hopkins EMO and clears the ball functionally. Terrific. Children rejoice. Doves are released. All sorts of other other happy crap happens.

2:55 PM: 11-8 Hopkins

• Goal - Brian Crockett. Assist to Bucktooth.
• EMO had just expired when Crockett rifled the ball past Schwartzmann.
• Beautiful offensive possession here by the Orange. Shots have closed to only a 28-20 advantage to the Jays. Bucktooth is clearly the focus of the offense here, which should be good news for Mike Leveille as he has benefitted from Bucktooth receiving lots of Hopkins attention.

3:00 PM: 12-8 Hopkins

• Goal - Greg Peyser. Assist to Christopher.
• Coluccini was looking unstoppable for about a 4:00 minute stretch before this Peyser tally. Clearly, the logical progression looks as follows for Coluccini:
• Step 1: Wear Shorts
• Step 2: ???
• Step 3: Win Lacrosse Games

3:05 PM: 12-9 Hopkins

• Goal - Joe Yevoli
• Yevoli penetrated from behind the cage, turned the corner, and dumped the pill past Swartzmann.
• This is a huge possession coming up for Syracuse. If they cut the deficit to two, I feel pretty confident that the Orange will somehow find a way to win.

3:10 PM: 13-9 Hopkins

• (Hopkins apparently scored when I was in the pisser. Sorry.)
• Of course Syracuse can't capitalize on the possession as Mike Leveille had a guarantee goal turned away not by Jesse Swartzmann but by some forgettable Hopkins defenseman who slapped at the pill with his crosse denying Leveille the tally. All I can say is this: shit, fuck, goddamit.
• Hopkins broadcasters are getting antsy, looking for Syracuse penalties all over the field with 2:00 remaining. Who needs neutrality when you can sound like an unabashed homer?

3:14 PM: 14-9 Hopkins

• Goal - Paul Rabil (That's four on the day. Somebody should, I don't know, mark him.)
• That appears to be the nail in the coffin. It's not like Syracuse had a shot against Hopkins anyway, as anytime Syracuse loses in the first round of the NCAA tournament, they are required to lose to Hopkins on the lacrosse field that night/following day. It's in the Bible.

3:17 PM: 14-9 Hopkins (FINAL)

• Coluccini's poor first-half performance ultimately doomed the Orange as they were unable to overcome the large deficit generated by a seven goal first quarter. Syracuse is now 1-3 on the season as Hopkins improves to 3-2. It is probably time to freak out.