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Who Shot the Couch?

I've seen a lot of stupid things in my day, but this takes the cake. It is without question a 10 on the "Appeals to Morons" Meter.

In an apparent effort to make 30,000 Syracuse fans flock to their local Goodwill and Salvation Army superstores, the SU athletic department has dubbed the February 1st game against Rutgers as "Dress Like Coach Boeheim Night."

As the press release states:

Fans are encouraged to dress in clothing similar to what Coach Boeheim wore when the Dome opened in 1980.

So, what it comes down to is that the athletic department is really interested in making sure that everyone wipes that shit-eatin' grin off their face and start looking like like someone stole all of your candy. The look isn't "throwback"; it's more like "throwaway."

Futhermore:

Those who participate in the contest should register at the Syracuse Athletics marketing table in the backcourt area prior to the game. The top five contestants who dress most like Coach Boeheim will be selected and brought out at halftime and presented with a gift pack from the SU Athletics Department.
And, of course, you can't forget the greatest gift of all: being ridiculed by your friends until you snap and gun down 15 people at a local McDonald's.

32 Responses to “Who Shot the Couch?”

  1. # Anonymous John McLargehead

    Looking at this contest, I've decided that if there were ever a movie greenlighted by the fine folks at the WB about Jim Boeheim's life, they should try and get a hold of Chevy Chase. Throw some glasses on him, grow his balding hair out a bit and he'd be the spitting image of Boeheim. They'd probably throw in Beverly D'Angelo as Julie Boeheim for sentimental purposes. Besides, who can count out Chevy making the appearance to the dome for the first. He hasn't worked since the late 90's and is probably in dire need of that Advanced Auto Parts gift certificate.  

  2. # Anonymous Matt

    Let's explore this a little.

    What would be funnier: Chase as Boeheim, or Boeheim as Chase?

    Could you imagine Jimmy B in Christmas Vacation?

    "Where do you think you're going? Nobody's leaving. Nobody's walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no. We're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here. We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny fucking Kaye. And when Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney tonight, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse!"

    "Hey! If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one -- I'd like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is!!

    Hallelujah!!

    Holy shit!!

    Where's the Tylenol?!"  

  3. # Anonymous Dave Pearson

    Does Chase as Boeheim mean Martin Short straps on the Glick fat suit to play Bernie Fine?  

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