There Used To Be Clocks Here

The Matter of Connecticut vs. Syracuse

Don't piss on my leg and tell me UConn's a good team!
Byrd: The courtroom will come to order! The Court calls the case number 25-09-10, The Timeout: Connecticut versus Syracuse. Parties may come forward. Parties have been sworn. You may be seated.
The Court: I've read the complaint and I've read the answer. So Connecticut, you believe that you got robbed by the officials allowing Syracuse to call a time out?
UConn: That's correct your honor. You see, the official didn't grant the timeout until after the player had entered the lane and shot the layup. By the time the timeout was granted, we had already grabbed the rebound.
The Court: I've seen the video, UConn. It's not so cut and dry as you think it is. Why didn't you just play better than Syracuse?
UConn: Well, we were down by 16--
Syracuse: Well Andy Rautins was in foul trouble because the officials had it out for him!
The Court: Hey hey hey did I tell you to speak? No? Well then keep your mouth shut! You'll get your turn!
UConn: Thank you, your honor. As I was saying, we were down by 16 and we fought back and we persevered. All without our Hall of Fame head coach. Pretty impressive, I think.
The Court: Well wasn't Syracuse down by 14 against Georgetown a couple weeks ago? They didn't quit when they tied it up. They kept on going.
Syracuse: And we had to deal with crappy officiating in that case!
The Court: Why do you keep interrupting?!? You're winning this case!
Syracuse: I'm sorry, Your Honor.
UConn: What I'm trying to say is that the timeout changed the character of the game. Instead of being tied with 35 seconds left and us having the ball, Syracuse was given the ball and the opportunity to go ahead.
The Court: Yeah, and according to the answer filed by Syracuse here, Wes Johnson was fouled on the inbound after the timeout. Syracuse?
Syracuse: That's correct, Your Honor. Some very clear jersey grabbing going on there. They very well could have played it clean on the inbound and given us each a fair chance at winning the game. The score was still tied at that point.
The Court: Wow, Byrd, you ever seen anything like this before?
Byrd: No, Your Honor. Never. That's a pretty outrageous position to take by Connecticut, I think.
The Court: Look, you people. Byrd's been with me since the beginning. He knows bullshit when he sees it. Like a judge in a court of law, these officials did the best they could to keep fairness and order. They allowed the timeout. They called ticky-tack fouls but didn't call hard fouls. This was a typical Big East game. Each team had ample opportunity to step it up and shut it down. I find this suit without any merit. Judgment for the defendant, Connecticut's suit is dismissed.
Byrd: Parties are excused, you may step out.

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6 Responses to “The Matter of Connecticut vs. Syracuse”

  1. # Anonymous sportzbelle

    come on now! JJ would NEVER say "Yeah"...  

  2. # Anonymous orangemennotorange

    Syracuse took a gamble in this case by not using the Chewbacca defense. Luckily they still won.  

  3. # Anonymous Kevin

    This was less legitimate than the Salem Witch Trials.

    And at least those trials had the benefit of throwing people off cliffs.  

  4. # Anonymous Anonymous

    That was a horrible call on the timeout. And the jersey grabbing was even more a ridiculous call.

    I can't wait for SU to get screwed by the ref's and the city starts crying.  

  5. # Blogger Brian Harrison

    I'll bracket the time out call, but are you seriously contending that the UConn player grabbing Johnson's jersey was NOT a foul? Are you kidding?  

  6. # Anonymous mortsports

    Well Anonymous, you got your wish yesterday at the end of the L'Ville game.No foul on WJ drive to the hoop and an "intentional" foul on the rebound...How says life isn't fair??  

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